Think about the most popular television talk-show hosts. Oprah, Ellen and Regis come to mind. What makes them so effective? Sure, guests may want to promote themselves or their causes, but what guests and audiences especially like is the conversation with the host — be they funny, witty, serious, compassionate, they’re always engaging. People will decide whether they want to keep company with you based on their conversations with you. So how good is the quality of your conversation? How compelling is the experience of talking with you? Does it galvanize others? Or is just same-old-same-old? Do others cancel meetings to make time for you? Or are you cancelled to make time for others? People’s lives are busy, and we’re all competing for each other’s time. So if someone does give you their time, it’s your responsibility to give them the highest R.O.T. – Return On Time. Here are three simple insights to improve the R.O.T. you give to others. Apply these tips and you’ll make people want to sit up to talk and listen to you.
1.Be Focused By Your Listening: Listen as though your life depends on hearing every word spoken by others. Listen as though what they say could lead to the next quantum breakthrough. Listen for the clues that will help you give them exactly what they need. Listen that way and you’ll transform the way they speak to you. Listen that way and you’ll help them say things they otherwise would never had said. Whatever you focus on is what you find.
2. Be Magnetic In Your Language: Words are as real as the chair you’re sitting in. Words can strike you like a fighter’s fist or stroke you like a lover’s hand. Choose them carefully. Choose words that make others laugh, smile, imagine and dream. Choose words that are uniquely you and alluring to others. Look at the words used in this article to motivate you to read this far. Find your own. Experiment with them. Formulate your own signature vocabulary of Possibility and Power.
3. Be Inviting Through Your Openness: Make others right because their biggest fear is being wrong. Being wrong means looking bad. Looking bad means being rejected. And being rejected means failure. So be open to others’ points of view. Unless a law is being broken, there is no right or wrong. Make it safe for people to say whatever they want to you. Always ask yourself this magical question: what happens if she’s right? Be open to others and they will open up to you. Try hard to ensure that every conversation you have is a masterpiece. Relish the opportunity to connect with every person because it earns you the right to come back.